Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain ? A: Gifted! Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone.Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant.Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders? A: Because they can't even keep two calves together! Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg? A: Nothing. They've never met.Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables! Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain? A: After a dye job. Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge. Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch? A: To turn the blinker off.Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car? A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche. Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane? A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much. Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?A: You can park in the handicap zone. Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?A: An IN-body experience!Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?A: Humpme Dumpme. Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?A: Shine a flashlight in their ear. Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?A: It takes too long to retrain them.Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common? A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you. Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello? A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages. Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas? A: They can't find the zipper.Q: What will a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles.Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators? A: They chip their teeth.Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?A: Cause their balls show! Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?A: It's the only car name they can spell. Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?A: An interpreter. Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A: A mental block.Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? A: Introduces herself. Q: How can you steal the window seat of a blonde on a plane going to London?A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs? A: She fell out of the tree. Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?A: Locking the car door.

Popularity: 14% [?]

An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says, "We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump. At least one of you will survive."The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers, "God Save The Queen," and jumps.The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers, "Viva La France," and he also jumps.This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers, "Remember the Alamo," and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. Now they're in heaven, and God is sitting on the great golden throne. God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe in?" Al replies, "Well, I believe that the internal combustion Engine is the root of all evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die." God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left." God then addresses Bill Clinton. "Bill, what do you believe in?" Bill Clinton replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things, and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain, but not inhaling." God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right." God then addresses Bill Gates. "Bill Gates, what do you believe in?" Bill Gates said, "I believe you're in my chair."

Popularity: 2% [?]

Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilots' uniforms–both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin; but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and people at the windows realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory. As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, that it will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin–but at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon they have all retreated into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands. Up in the cockpit, the copilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die. . ."

Popularity: 1% [?]