A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

Popularity: 1% [?]

Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Clause. Unfortunately, so did my parents, so I never got anything!-Charlie Viracola

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1. Your salary is less than your tuition.2. Your potted plants stay alive.3. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.4. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.5. You have to pay your own credit card bill.6. Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal.7. You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year.8. 8:00a.m. is not early.9. You have to file for your own taxes.10. You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.11. You're not carded anymore.12. You carry an umbrella.13. You learn that "Bachelor" is a nicer term for a jackass.14. "Extended childhood" only really pertains to your salary, which is a little less than your allowance used to be.15. "Twenty-something" means over-qualified, under-paid, and not married.16. Your friends marry instead of hook-up, and divorce instead of break-up.17. You start watching the weather channel.18. Jeans and baseball caps aren't staples in your wardrobe.19. You can no longer take shots, and smoking gives you a sinus attack.20. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.21. You stop confusing 401K plan with 10K run.22. You go to parties that the police don't raid.23. Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sex in front of you.24. You don't know what time Wendy's closes anymore.25. Your car insurance goes down.26. You refer to college students as kids.27. You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of beer, bourbon, and rum.

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When i was a kid i used to pray for a new bike. But then I realised that the lord doesn't work that way, so i stole one and asked him to forgive me!

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Ten ways to know that you're addicted to your computer:- 10) When you begin to laugh you yell, LOL. 9) You tell your computer you love it, more than you tell your spouse. Your house catches on fire and you run home to save your computer before your family. 7) Your computer is your ONLY friend. 6) You think cyber sex is better than real sex. 5) You type only in short hand (YO ROFLMAO I'LL BRB B4 U RTFM LOL). 4) You type 40 words a minute with two fingers. 3) Your twins are named RAM & ROM. 2) After breaking from your computer, you realize you have gained 40lbs, have grown hair in unusual places, your spouse and kids have left you, and Windows 3.1 is outdated. 1) YOU READ STUFF LIKE THIS!

Popularity: 1% [?]