Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck.A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Giants Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Giants fan," the little hero replied."Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again. "Little Jets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Jets fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Cowboys fan," the child said. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck Maniac Kills Beloved Family Pet."

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The pro football team had just finished theirdaily practice session when a large turkey camestrutting onto the field.While the players gazed in amazement, the turkeywalked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caughtpass after pass and ran right through the defensiveline.When the turkey returned to the sidelines, thecoach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up forthe season, and I'll see to it that you get ahuge bonus.""Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I wantto know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"

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When the staff goes out after work, they talk about football or basketball.When Middle management gets together, they talk about tennis or baseball.Top management discusses golf.Conclusion: The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls are.

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A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife: "Honey, I got a new secretary. And imagine what happened! She's got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite football team. Anyway, it's not a big deal but it feels good."The next day when they come home his wife asks, "How was your day?"The man says: "Fantastic! It's not only her bra that is red and white but also her panties. You know it's not a big deal but it really feels good!"The third day they meet at home after work and now the man asks his wife, "And what happened today in your office, honey?"She says, "Oh, nothing special, sweetheart. I got a new boss today. His dick is two inches longer than yours. You know it's not a big deal but, hell, it feels good!"

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A blonde began a job as an Junior school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during break she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was alright.The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked "Why are you standing here all alone? Why don't you go and join those boys playing football over there?" "Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the bloody goalie."Sent by Gerald

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