A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?" Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!" The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?" Confused, the bartenders says no. "Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"

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What do u get if u cross bambi wit a ghost?BAMBOOWhat is a duck's favourite TV show?THE FEATHER FORECASTGET IT? hahaha

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A guy walks into a bar holding three ducks. He sets them on the bar and orders a drink. After talking with the bartender for a while, the man excuses himself to use the restroom. The bartender feel a tad awkward with just himself and three ducks at the bar, so he decides to make small talk with them. He asks the first duck, "What's your name?""Huey," replies the duck. "So, how's your day been?""Oh, I've had a great day," replies Huey. "I've been in and out of puddles all day." The bartender asks the second duck, "What's your name?" "Duey," replies the duck."So, how's your day been?" "Oh, I've had a great day," replies Duey. "I've been in and out of puddles all day." The witty bartender says to the third duck, "So I guess your name is Louie?" The duck replies, "No, I'm Puddles."

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Two friends were in a bar drinking a beer when one pulled out a cigar but he didn't have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one.."I sure do," he replied and reached into his pocket and pulled out a 10 inch Bic lighter."Wow!" said his friend, "where did you get that monster.""I got it from my genie.""You have a genie?" he asked."Yes, he's right here in my pocket.""Could I see him?"He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a very small genie.The friend says, "I'm a good friend of your master. Will you grant me one wish?""Yes I will," the genie said so he asks him for a million bucks and the genie hops back into his master's pocket and leaves the man standing there waiting for his million bucks.About this time, a duck walks into the bar followed by another. Then more ducks come pouring in. Before long the entire bar has ducks everywhere. The friend tells his buddy, "What is going on here, I asked for a million bucks not ducks!"He answers, "I forgot to tell you the genie is hard of hearing. Do you really think I asked him for a 10 inch Bic?"

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1. You know you have if you… notice your tie sticking out of your fly. 2. Someone uses your tongue for a coaster. 3. You start kissing the portraits on the wall. 4. You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier. 5. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off. 6. You strike a match and light your nose. 7. You take off your shoes and wade in the macaroni salad. 8. You hear a duck quacking, and it's you. 9. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet. 10. You refill your glass from the fish bowl. 11. You tell everyone you have to go home… and the party's at your place. 12. You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket. 13. You yawn at the biggest bore in the room… and realize you're in front of the hall mirror. 14. You pick up a roll, and butter your watch. 15. You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear. 16. You tell your best joke to the rubber plant. 17. You realize you're the only one under the coffee table.

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