Jokes and funny stories: Situations

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Situations

Strategy
The newly divorced woman...
37 mating positions
How many does it take?
A man decided to have a face lift...
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road...
During WW II an American soldier...
A divorced woman had been on her own for several months...
A yard sale
Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair...
Taking measures
A customer walks into a pharmacy...
A fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golf...
An old sailing ship is becalmed at sea...
A man enters a barber shop for a shave...
A cowboy walked into a barber shop...
On a very cold winter night...
On a cross-country bus trip...
The Young Mans Big Mouth
Stolen Car
A closer call
A man is walking along one day and he comes upon a ladder...
Embarrassing moments
You tell me!
Hair spray
Discovering too late that a...
A group of third, fourth and fifth graders...
A perfect choice
A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week...
I HAD A BAD DAY
A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy...
The Barber Shop
Doing the right thing
A man is walking past this house when a used condom...
A rookie police officer was assigned...
Spell it
Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her...
This young lady, a flighty young thing...
A man spoke frantically into the phone...
Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town...
A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other...
A man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive...
The man at the bar, deep in private thoughts of his own...
Free meat
One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world...
Three college roommates -- two females and a male...
A woman walks into a tattoo parlour...
A man walked into the bar and there was a gorilla...
There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer...
A guy was attending a masquerade Halloween Ball...
These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around...
Gimme some aspirin!
Ballroom please!
Forget your daughter...
African roulette
Barbie and G.I. Joe
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down...
While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new...
Buy me bras!
A carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady...
A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road...
A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one...
A man and a woman are on an elevator at the top...
It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency...
A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table...
The Mortitian arrived at the Mortuary one morning...
One day a lady went to the doctors office
One day Pete was complaining to his friend...
Only once
The Director of the Scottish Tartans Museum...
Playtonic relationship
Weill and Mahoney had started with only five hundred dollars...
A woman gives birth to twins, a girl and a boy...
Like to screw?
Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day...
A man was looking for a cheap prostitute in a brothel...
A dubious remedy
Doing the Dishes
Peanuts
There was this guy & he had just bought a brand new Farrari...
A man walks into a bank and says he wants to borrow...
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop...
A construction worker was whistling...
In the midst of a veritable downpour...
The barber was finishing a haircut...
Mary was having an affair during the day while...
A man walks into a jewellers shop...
Two nuns go to a restaurant to have dinner...
There were three men who were lost in the forest...
Kind of awkward
A man stops by a diner at noon...
A bad day
A guy goes into a restaurant/lounge...
A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar...
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk...
Ouch
A famous hypnotist was performing in a large auditorium...
Santas Diversion
Jane was a first time contestant on the $65,000 quiz show...
The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was...
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911...
Man in a pub, "If you went camping and woke up...
The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding down...
Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to...
I was walking down an alley last night...
Put it to a good use
This elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girls...
A city boy was visiting the country and...
A guy's on the electric chair...
A stuffy matron is with a new man in a top restaurant...
Two blokes were out walking home from work one afternoon...
Everybody's doing it
Hoffman and Puscas are bombed, watching the St. Patrick's...
A guy says to a salesgirl...
The world's greatest hypnotist is on stage...
Cronin goes to a barber shop to get his hair cut...
A hunchback is running along a street being chased by...
While enjoying a drink with a mate one night...
A woman selling apples in New York...
Little Johnny's dad is sitting on the side of the bed...
A little girl was playing up a tree near a church...
Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar...
A woman went to the bar with a black eye...
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet...
First Aid Course
Is this her first?..
Ten pounds of pride
The other day my house caught fire...
The hit-and-run
A rancher from Central Arizona died and went on...
A strange jigsaw puzzle
Make my own bed
Two men were walking through the woods when...
An old man and his son had a one-horse farm where they...
Cop coming upon a young couple making out...
A guy leaves his place at the bar to go have a piss...
A college professor's going to bed with his wife...
Joan, a rather well-proportioned & near-sighted secretary...
Mike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the south...
A girl called the police department and reported that...
Reading time
Farmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheep...
Jewish fly
A woman in the labor ward of the general hospital...
Two girls are sitting in a movie-theater...
A Purple Heart
A woman strode angrily into the large...
This guy goes to sperm bank to give a sample...
A business man from New York decided to quit his job...
The people are waiting
Two men went to the desert for a vacation...
An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote...
Ralph and Charlie where playing the ninth hole at...
How'd you get that black eye?
The first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms...
Unable to attend the funeral after his father died...
A dancing duck
A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch...
Oscar was an unlucky sap. Having just spent megabucks on a skydiving...
A wide selection
A guy takes his greenhorn wife hunting on a ranch...
An infamous stud with a long list of conquests...
A young man walks into a singles bar with a roll of quarters...
A little town had a high birth rate that...
How do you know when the barmaid is really pissed off?
Two mountain bred GIs were wandering the streets...
Prostitute walks into a bar and asks the barman...
A man let out a humongous burp...
Two guys are out hunting deer...
My name is Brown
Three calamities
Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward...
An Avon lady was along in an elevator when she suddenly...
A guy walks into a drugstore operated by a prudish woman...
The sales girl at the Pink Pussycat boutique...
A bartender was getting ready to close for the night...
Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and...
Female guitar player shouting at her boyfriend...
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided...
Fluffy died
A department store had to call off its special...
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves...
A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking...
A wild party
Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500...
Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country...
A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated...
The dentist was called away from the dinner table to...
Over the counter
A woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs...
A fortune teller
Card games
Ass-corked
A girl and an elephant
Imagine you`re in a room with no windows and no doors...
Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses...
Communication problem
The price is right
Royalty and W
Great roof
A push
A young woman stops into her local pharmacy to pick a supply...
A woman enters a butcher shop and asks...
Just after Lorenna Bobbitt brutally cut off her husband's...