Download 110 Hilarious Jokes!
Get your own .us name!
Register a .us domain name for only $8.75/yr including blog, email, online photo filer and much more at eXavier.com
Clever Doggie
A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices the dog has a note in his mouth. The butcher takes the note, and it reads, "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please." The butcher looks, and lo and behold, in the dog's mouth, there is a ten dollar bill. So the butcher takes the money, puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, and places it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is very impressed, and since it's closing time, he decides to close up shop and follow the dog. So, off he goes. The dog is walking down the street and comes to a crossing. The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the crossing button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to change. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following. The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog checks out the times, and sits on one of the seats to wait for the bus. Along comes a bus. The dog walks to the front of the bus, looks at the number, and goes back to his seat. Another bus comes. Again the dog goes and looks at the number, notices it's the right bus, and climbs on. The butcher, by now open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus. The bus travels thru town and out to the suburbs. Eventually the dog gets up, moves to the front of the bus, and standing on his hind legs, pushes the button to stop the bus. The dog gets off, groceries still in his mouth, and the butcher still following. They walk down the road, and the dog approaches a house. He walks up the path, and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -whap!- against the door. He goes back down the path, takes another run, and throws himself -whap!- against the door again! There's no answer at the door, so the dog goes back down the path, jumps up on a narrow wall, and walks along the perimeter of the garden. He gets to a window, and bangs his head against it several times. He walks back, jumps off the wall, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts laying into the dog, really yelling at him. The butcher runs up and stops the guy. "What the heck are you doing? This dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for God's sake!" To which the guy responds, "Clever, my foot! This is the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"
Check out all our Miscellaneous jokes!
Random Jokes
Bad Jokes Not raising hogs All Jews and six Mexicans A love story Famous people Making bets A man is waiting for his wife to give birth... A young punk gets on the cross-town bus The approach of winter Tombstone Epitaph IV Tombstone Epitaph V Did you hear that Oprah Winfrey was arrested at the airport for drug smuggling? La Machine How can you identify an blind pirate? Why don't cannibals eat clowns? On Jeopardy The new FDA milk labeling rules are so strict... A guy was in a bar, and asked for some milk... Did you hear that all the toilets at the police station were stolen? A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid... I received a letter from my bank the other day... My twenty cents If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked... Difference Between Men and Women Grilling Remarks Idiot Chicken Farmer Blonde Horses Around Cock A Doodly Doo! Cheap Beer State Of The Art Watch Blonde and the Western A Penny For Your Thoughts A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire A Blonde Astronaut M and M's are too smart! Lawnmower Knitting Blonde Ice Cubes Dumb Blonde Crooks Donations Did you hear about the blonde that... Blonde crossing the road Blonde paint job Computer Users Great Writer Bad corporate slogans Real news headlines 11 Real news headlines 09 Real news headlines 07 Real news headlines 03 Signs and notices 14 Signs and notices 12 Real advertisements 04 Work quotes Life Quotes Male translations Female Laws To Live By Great Reasons To Be A Guy Men Are Like Looking Good Quotes from stupid 03 Stupid Insults 27/31 Stupid Insults 19/31 Stupid Insults 15/31 Stupid Insults 9/31 Insult Collection #12 Insult Collection #8 Insult Collection #3 Testifying Boy or Girl Arthritis is so cruel Curing a Cough A Dose of HMO's Own Medicine Submarine humor and fun New Work Policies Never argue with a women In Deep Shit Almost Perfect Life A Prayer Before Dying Biting Nails Criminal Hall of Shame Two zebras pondering cornflakes Redneck Dating practice Southern Comments Call me Bubba You Caught My Eye Spaghetti Money Talks! Catholic Dictionary Standing At The Gates Of Heaven The Old Monk California Crazy Law The Top Bad Excuses For Speeding Things you don't want to hear during surgery Signs You're from New York Signs Your Car Might Be A Lemon yo mammas breath... ~*How to make a Blonde Laugh*~ Totally Useless Info Tons of Q & A for Kids! The Wolf Man...HOWL! Lots of Wit and Wisdom. Lone Ranger and Tonto... Bartender Help At the Bull acution. Honey, I have a headache... Guess the instructions. Things you'd really like to say at work! Blonde History Lesson. Holy Camel Elephants Jokes 4 Kids Galore A Woman's Ultimate Fantasy 37 Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines At the shoe store... Visiting the sun The Blind Sky Diver Rude Nusery Rhymes! Oops! The Snake Phrases for Work. Harrassment If, And, Butt! Lesbian Hit Parade St. Patrick's Day Santa's Reindeer Zen Quotes Marriage Secrets... Van and the Queen Triplets My Aunt 2 Eggs Barber Shop Rabbi Wizard The "real story" of the three bears.. Money for panites. The Biker's decision. The great rabbit escape! The 3 shrinks! Poof! Bowling for Blondes! I knew it was true...I knew it! Pick up and put down! The talking clock! The Break-in! Pulled over. At the crazy farm! On the airline. Clinton Bumper Stickers The Brown and White Cows! Because I'm a Guy! Tuns of Puns! Part I Plastic Wrap Men Breakfast, Lunch, & Supper! Turkey and the Bull... Locking For A Dentist Show Me Your License Leaf The Shrine Role Reversal No Parking Dear John Reply Magicians Secret Pope, Graham, and Roberts I\'d Love To But...(Pt IV) Clinton To Die Change In Fashion Now that I\'m older... A woman\'s random thoughts! Chickens New Words Needed (woo-hoo!) Excitement in Undertaking! Horsie Ride Quick Witted Boy Bad Date Signs! How to impress a woman. The worst racist joke Dissuasion! Viagra Mickey Finn! How To Screw Up An Interview Lawyer at the Pearly Gates. The Flood Top10 things men know about women... Men say = Men really mean. Top10 New Summer Camps! Men & Women Compared! Human Resources Memo! Snow shoveler's diary. (LONG JOKE) Sure signs it's your last day at work. Move your cars please. More Church Bloopers! Church announcement bloopers! Pronounce it please! The sweet kiss! AirForce 1 Way to have FUN while shopping! The dead redneck! Nite before Xmas - Net Style! A future fireman. Bill and Hillary... Technological Doctor Male-Bashing at it's best! Super Long Classic! Questions & Answer Quickies! Oopsy Daisy! Rodney Dangerfield Top One-Liners! Top 10 things men know about women. A Peg-legged Halloween! Don\'t mess with this old lady! Prison and Work...one and the same! So what\\\'s in a name anyway! Really cute one. Some of life's truisms. Cockroach at the door. Line Dancing Whale of a Story. The New Priest Me Tarzan! No Jobs. Grandma's Advice Who needs women Stinky woman. Positive Outlooks on Life... Little Johnny Answers. Old man from Trent - Limmerick If a frog parks. Yo momma 3 times. "Brrr!" Trip To The Desert Cat's Prayer The eleventh commandment The talking Cuckoo clock. 7 Shots of Vodka! Top 50 Jokes! Yo mamma so stupid... Three Girls The Real Cinderella Story Conflict of Interest Learning to Cuss Who's Child? Neil Armstrong True Story Flea Cure Baby Wear A Condom Smart Blonde Unmarried In BMW One Dollar Punctuation Worst Thing Favorite Wine No. to Change Lightbulb Mating Call Phone For Texas Aggie Too Much Computer Confucius Sex M&M Factory Park Registration Sheet Comments To Computer: Is there a God? Short Lawyer Jokes V Short Lawyer Jokes I Lawyer and Sperm Aliens At a Gas Pump Man, I\'m Glad I\'m A Man The Darwin Awards-1996 Nominees Pinocchio Kidnapped! Advice From Mom Guru and Novacaine RELATIVES-(Classic Poem) Shift Key FAQ Bragging Cowboys Appropriate Penance If She Married Him, She'd Be... Horny Mouse Only One Sale? Smart CEO Xmas Tree and Priest Alike Lonely Frog Why Birds Fly South How To Catch A Polar Bear Outhouse On Quicksand? Saved Your Privates The Mushroom Snowmen and Snowladies Welcome to Hell... Men's rules for Women! Very Short Lists Guy's - Don't Do This On A Date 50 facts about Men Better Than Pork Church Collection Distribution Who's Fishing? Libertarians & Anarchists Who's job is it? Car Dimmer Switch Modification Arkansan Citizens Trip Hmmm...Ponderings Undocumented Windows Errors Proper Care of Floppy Diskettes Whose Job Is It? Gay Polak Polish Hockey Team Polish Power Outage The Kowalski Measurement of a Pole Ways A Nerd Can Impress Avoid While Waiting For Date Polak and Robot How To Get Rid Of Roaches Super Orgasm When: On God\'s Making a Woman Thinnest World\'s Book Is... License Plate St. Peter Men\'s Rude Awakening Boyfriends Man With Most Intelligence Gone Diff Between Bar and Clitoris After Man, God Said... A Man is a Wasp? Brain Missing Dumb Part Best Thing Out of... Why Blonde Jokes Are One-liners Not the Sexiest Man Alive Dumber Sex Men\'s Greeting Cards Types of Men Pissers Analysis of A Man Cause Hearing Loss In Men Punishment For Bigamy Absent Minded Husband Success In Love Husband\'s Average Income? Fill These Pants My Turn Come In Sex Like A Convenience Store Matrimony Tips For Women She\'s Smoking No More Fooling! Job for Mom Refrigerated Pussy Wedding Prank Traditional Service Marriage Quotes 4 New Drug Too Young Sexercises A-fishin\' We Will Go... Give Them a Shock Pervert? Deck of Cards No Card What Can I Get? Can You Read This? Green Half First Can You Read This He\'s Shaky What Kind of Doctor? Until Twelve Quack, Quack Crackers? Leave a Specimen Elderly Blonde Food Order Tired of male bashing? Looking Great Deep Cuts Onion Balls GM vs Microsoft Sore Throat Long Life Bit by Bit Blonde Doctor? Yes or No Careful Now Taxonomy of Medical Practitioners Bronze sculptures Genie and the Beer Penis holding Cow The Honeymoon Driving miss blondy Buckwheat 'n Darla Bad News... Will you rember me?? Restroom Dyslexic Pimp How did you break YOUR leg?? The mime! 2 men and a woman... Mommas So Fat Blonde in a Freezer Your Momma\'s So Fat.. The Dream Red Phone In Just 3 Words... Scientists and the Mermaid! The Blonde and the Alligator Crocodile-done-blonde Tired gynocologist Princess and the Frog Flowers Glass of water. The Dead Dog We\'re Rangers! Smart Kid! Tickle Me Elmo The President Knock Knock Wannup I love my wife Jesus vs Satan Dogs and fleas Quote on Monica Di and Dolly Go To Heaven Blonds Going to Disney World Zen Buddhist Buys a Hotdog Andy is God\\\'s son Mexican Olympians Top 10 rejection lines True story from the WordPerfect helpline! A woman\'s three biggest lies. Scared half to death Miss Right Grandpa gets exited! Great Thinkers of Our Time? The Witch Thanks Doc! An Old Man\'s Dying Request President The Family Dentist Yogi Bear Hooker Progress Why were blondes created? Valentine\'s Cards The Perfect Woman would say... How to Annoy People at Work FBI Want-Ads Top 10 signs Santa doesn\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t like your kid. What\\\\\\\'s the definition of strain? If PCs Were Toasters... Firearms World\'s Worst Pick-up Lines... The Psychiatric Hotline Three legged Donkey Cristmas Quiz A Networkologist\\\\\\\'s Christmas Happy Thanksgiving The Emergency Preganat wife? Avoid these! Great Reasons To Be A Guy! The Golden Toilet Signs Your Relationship Is On The Rocks Book Titles Two guys who wanted to pick up women. Why don\'t Blondes...? Big mix-UP The Best Time? A REALLY Bad Day - True Story! Knit to Fit The Leprechaun Train What\\\\\\\'s O. J. Simpson\\\\\\\'s Internet address? Road-killed lawyer Where does Bill Clinton have sex? For Chocolate Lovers Cigar holder Snowmen & Snowwomen Crossing Mayonaise Alternative Chicken Rabbit and Bear Your momma is... Who\'s backward? Rabbit Catching Cup of Coffee HoHoHo Room in Hell Mr. Johnson A Bugs Mind Bzzzzz!! Snowmen Monica Lewinsky and a change machine? Fish Your Funeral Phonebook Dilemma OJ\\\'s URL The Crook & The President Scottish Joke A Horse walks into a Bar Thirteen! Blonde's Revenge Top ten things women would do ... What is a country song played backwards? Change The Big Jump Blonde quickies 121-140 Blonde quickies 101-120 Odd One Out Grandma\'s peanuts Crotchless panties Big 10 Inch I Want Some Milk Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant... If Thinking Machines ran Christmas... Mirror cross the road Work for an operator Elevator Magic Anniversary Trouble Hilarious Sports Quotes! Newlyweds Ventriliquist Bad Breath 7 Shots of Vodka! Friends and Enemies Man Named Furniture Food Better Than Men Locked Up In Just 3 Words... Descriptions of people you may know! A test for being drunk She: What do you love most, my natural beauty or my body? I married Miss Right... A unit in sex education was about to begin... Why do Black widow spiders kill there mates after mating? The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods... Bathroom control A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy...